Welcome to the YouSchool podcast. My name is Scott Schimmel. We're here for another episode, where we're going to dig into one of the critical questions that everybody needs to answer in order to build a meaningful life. And what we put together is a series of them 30 of them actually, that can serve as a roadmap or a curriculum for your life, that if you address and attempt to answer each one of these questions one at a time, what we've seen is that you will build a foundation of a clear identity, a defined strong, compelling purpose, and the ability to access and build healthy relationships. And those three pillars identity, purpose, and belonging will serve as a foundation for you to build a life that's not just happy, or successful, or fulfilling, but even more so meaningful. So today, we're looking at an idea, a question about beliefs. Because what we found is when we don't have beliefs, when we lack beliefs, there's a detriment to our lives. Now, if you'd asked me growing up, what do you believe in, I would have said nothing, because what I meant by that was my family we didn't, we weren't religious or spiritual. We didn't go to any religious ceremonies, there was no temple or church that we visited, there were no prayers that we prayed or songs that we sang or ceremonies that we attended to. However, the older I've gotten, the more I've reflected and realized I did come from very strong, clear beliefs. And the process of becoming an adult for me, living my own life, living my own life, and then ultimately becoming a husband and a dad and employee and a leader, volunteer different organizations. So those those experiences have invited me to reflect more and more about what my beliefs are. And many of them are the ones I raise raised in beliefs about what the world is all about, and what I'm all about, and who I am, and why I'm here, and how to be here. Well, I was actually given those by my family, through, obviously, the observations of how they lived, my parents, my grandparents, my aunts, and uncles, but also the scenes that were that and phrases that would be tossed around, over and over and over again, almost like a refrain, almost like we did have our own tenants around beliefs. That just didn't, we didn't organize them that way. And what I found is, every single person needs to go through an experience a process to define and clarify and own their own beliefs, even if it's the exact same ones for that come from, or completely different. Either way, you need to do it. And if you're a parent working with a kid, they need to do it, they need to find out and discover beliefs for themselves. We're gonna talk about how to do that. And also why that's so terrifying. Sometimes, they might choose beliefs that are different from ours. Now, a life without beliefs is tricky. It's complicated. We, we find ourselves having shifting priorities, we find ourselves being influenced by feelings, or our own our own emotions, or by other people's thoughts, and perspectives. We get confused and disoriented. We oftentimes if we don't use and reflect on our core beliefs, through decisions, life decisions, we'll find ourselves going down a path that we regret. And that's a problem. That's a problem.
It's ineffective, it's inefficient. To have a life where your core beliefs are not defined. It makes things harder, every life decision. big life decisions, especially about what maybe where to go to school? Or what career to pursue, or what friendships or relationships to invest in those decisions, those key decisions, where do I go? Where do I live? Where do I work? Who do I be with? They become really complicated, much more complicated and need to be with you if you don't have these core beliefs. But if you do if you do the work, this is kind of the sales pitch for you to do the work or to guide your students and your kids to do the work. You'll find yourself having more clarity, more confidence, more conviction, your decision making will become easier. You'll have fewer regrets, and you'll know why you're doing what you're doing. That's a good thing. These are all good things. So here's the question. Here's the critical question that everybody needs to answer. What do you believe in? You? What do you believe in? Not what does your religious tradition tells you to believe not what does your family say to believe? Not what your friends believe, not what you've been hearing through media or the news. But what do you believe in for you to go through the process to scrutinize and reflect on and test out and own your own beliefs? Now, there's a helpful way to organize this. And I'm going to walk through this pretty quickly, so that we get to the really good stuff. What questions how do we get there? How do we find our own answer? On one side, beliefs, knowledge, truth, there's, there's a side of it about being confident something we can have low confidence in our beliefs are high confidence, we can sort of believe something to be true and right and good. Or be extremely confident in it, have a conviction? And you can imagine which one's more helpful, low confidence Max, sort of kind of believe I'm here for a reason and, or high comments. No, I know, I'm here for a reason. When we look at things that we might have, let's say low evidence for, or a varying degree of confidence in, that's what we're looking at, what we would say, are philosophical beliefs and faith beliefs. Now, that's the parts that we're going to zero in on, because that's the most important stuff, in terms of organizing a life, making decisions, figuring out how to be here, how to operate in this world, who we are, what the world is all about. It's in those philosophical ideas, and faith and beliefs. That's the good stuff. And the the idea of discovering this, defining this, discovering what we believe to be true and rights and good, we can do two things, we can grow up more confidence in those ideas, and we can have more life evidence. And so we want to go up into the right with our ideas and thoughts. And the process. At this point, we're going to turn to discovering and looking at what's the process to define your core beliefs. And I just want to underscore it, again has to be you your work. You can't shortcut this, it has to be something that you think about. Parents have to present their beliefs through lived experience, model them, demonstrate them, communicate them out loud, share why you do what you do to your kids. And, and then the kids, students, people, you have to do the work to define it yourself. How does it work? Well, there's certain questions to reflect on to answer. Here's some of them. To define what your core beliefs are. Do you believe the world is basically a friendly place? Or is it dangerous, uncontrollable, and up to you to get through it? So in other words, what do you believe about the world? And how do you know? Where does that come from? Now you might look at a religious tradition. Listen to somebody that you look up to and respect, reflect on what your parents have shown you and taught you. And try those on precise. And ask questions about that belief. What were the other way to describe that? Which would be a worldview view of the world? What is the world all about? Is it organized?
Is it disorganized? Is it's chaotic? Is it headed towards good? Is it headed towards destruction? What is it that you believe? And do your beliefs? Where did it come from? Do your beliefs about the world work for you? Are they are is your worldview something that's productive and effective for you to live? A life that's organized, clear, confident, leading you towards love of others? A bigger, larger life or a smaller life? It's a way to evaluate not just your beliefs, but also the quality of your beliefs. Another one, do you believe in your life, that in your life, you have the potential to grow and change? Or are you is it more kind of what you see is what you get? So this is about your potential. It's a that's another way to look at it philosophical ideas around faith about who you are, and who you're turning into. So are you can you change, can you grow? What do you believe? Again, you can look at a faith religious tradition. You can look up to somebody that you admire, and think through or listen to what they say. You can reflect on how your parents have modeled that for you. And ultimately, you have to find your own answer to that question. First, we talked about worldview Second type of view of yourself and your potential, either you have a lot of it or you don't. And the quality of your belief. Does your belief about who you are. Is that good for you? Does that lead you to be a kinder, more generous, more self giving person or not? Does it keep you stuck and complacent or demotivated unmotivated? Who? Or what has shaped your core beliefs the most? Where do your beliefs come from? Why do you believe you're here? And then as you're reflecting and thinking about those questions, it really helps to externalize them through writing. And then also talking about them, talking about them out loud. Talking about them with some people that you trust friends, peers, mentors, listening to people, listen to podcasts, listen to religious teachings, sermons, read books, have discussions around your beliefs, pursue them, don't stop thinking about those questions until you find answers that you're confident in. And then a part of this is also going through life experience and thinking about it again, reflection. That's how you form we all form core beliefs. Now, the part that I've found is that unless you intentionally go through this process, decide that this is important. And then make every effort to do the process of thinking, talking, writing, reflecting, you will likely have beliefs that get mildly formed, that aren't productive for you, that don't help you make efficient decisions that you're confident in. In other words, you have to choose to go through the process. We're wrapped up with this, what you believe in shapes who you become, your beliefs form, the foundation of your identity, how you understand your purpose, and interact with the world. And the kind of relationships you build. What you believe in about the world, about yourself about other people, and your place here, shapes everything. When we lose sight of something, to believe in something big to believe in an organizing idea, in principle, it affects everything, including our mental health, our motivation for working hard in school, or at work, the ability to make healthy choices, and our hope for the future, when we lose sight of it. So this isn't something you do once and tattooed on your arm, your core beliefs, or ideas that you continue to go back to a well to return to. And we can often be depleted of them, our confidence in them our understanding of the clarity what we believe in. So if we just keep coming back to this question, all these questions are questions you don't answer just once they're live, they're open. They're with you. And when we return to them, we'll find the benefits and the growth of it. So I hope this is helpful for you. Whether you're on this journey yourself, or trying to lead other people on this journey, that what you believe in, will help. That question will help and aid your life, your decisions, how you're here, why you're here. It will help everything
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