Scott Schimmel 0:20
everybody welcome to another episode a very unique episode we have a real life real life student. He's well AP, tell him who you are. What's your name? What grade are you? How old are you?
Abe Rhodes 0:34
I'm 17, Senior High School. Just kind of crazy. I go to cathedral Catholic High School. Nago, California. I play soccer like to surf. A lot of very active, very active person just kind of out there, down for whatever. Yep.
Scott Schimmel 1:00
Down to clown. So being a senior, and that's that's the context for this for this conversation is talking about the future. So last week on Instagram, I've just posted this thing and said, Hey, does anybody have a kid that you'd want to have a conversation about the future that maybe is not totally there yet in terms of clarity. And I had maybe 15 people over the course of a day respond with their kid, hey, yeah, you should talk to my kid. But the first two responses were your parents. So like, within, within two minutes, separately, they didn't talk to each other, like, oh, just talk to each type. So being a senior, one of the big, one of the big questions that comes up, obviously, and especially being in a school like yours, which for those who don't know, cathedral, it's a Catholic private school. And it's definitely on the end of the spectrum of being University bounds. It's more high achieving, it's, it's just more of an intense environment than maybe some schools out there. So the question that you typically get, we're going to start with is, what are you going to do? What's your plan? Where are you going to college? So how are you currently answering that question? If, and I'm sure you might have a few different responses, but what's, what's your current
Unknown Speaker 2:09
I tell some people that it's a work in progress at the moment, like if parents ask or like, people I know. I have ideas in my head of like, oh, it'd be super cool to go here. Like, I feel like it's, it's college or whatever, it would be interesting. But I think you have to think about, like, this is a big choice, like this kind of the first like, shape how your life's gonna play out. Choice. Also, like with grades, it's difficult, because, you know, it's my last year, I really did, like, put in this effort to like, some people just like to kick back relax to senior year, go to community college, whatever. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with that. But me personally, I've like, in my mind, I want to achieve the opportunity to go to a four year university. And kind of like, I don't know, hold myself to that standard. So yeah, kind of work in progress.
Scott Schimmel 3:10
Yeah, that's good to know. I didn't know I didn't ask you beforehand. I didn't know what your plans were. And I think it's interesting. Yeah. For somebody that has an older sibling. Like for me, I, I had a sister who's three years older, and she was she never let me forget 4.72 GPA and went to UCSD, you have an older sister, who was, as far as I know, is a great student as well. She's going to Baylor so that kind of sets the course. At least for you. There's some expectation, and I'm just curious how that's impacting you.
Unknown Speaker 3:42
I kind of in my mind, I know it's there. But I like I don't want to display it. And I'm like, under all this pressure. Like to be like, Oh, I gotta live up to my sister's expectations. I want to be myself, obviously. And yeah, but she's done. It's awesome. She's super smart. She went and got it for herself. So I that's the kind of side of it that I want to be like, Okay, I want to do that for myself as well. But yeah, and I think definitely, I'm capable of like, like, it's not like out of reach from it'd be like, okay, like college is just this big, giant monster that I'm not ever going to knock and build the tackle. But I think definitely, like getting to that point is important to me. And obviously, like having a good role model like my sister to like, kind of be like, okay, as she did it. I have an understanding. Like, that's like super helpful to me. Yeah. But also kind of just like, want to do it. Follow that, but then branch off sort of. There's there's this Yeah, totally.
Scott Schimmel 4:48
It's kind of deep. Make sure it's your own path. Yeah. There's a there's a scene. I think it's from Finding Nemo and there's so the setting is it's morning time everyone. has gone off to work. And these two fish are swimming by and this one fish is going through. And the one fish says to the two guys, hey, good morning, guys, How's the water today? And then the two guys just kind of like, you know, as we normally do just mumble back, okay, morning. And as the two guys swim away by themselves, one of the guys one of the fish turns into a fish and says, What's water? What is he talking about? And that I think what they're trying to kind of get at is when you're in the water, you don't know that you're in the water and and when you're in a family where there's a sister that's gone off to do something, and is ambitious and smart, like you said, that's compounded with you're also in a school like that. You're at a school where and I went to almost, I mean, I went to Santa Margarita Catholic, it's almost exact same schools cathedral, and it's up in Orange County. And I just remember, it wasn't really a question amongst my friends. If you're going to go off to a four year school, it was Where are you going? What are you going to do and, and as people would, especially athletes start showing their sweatshirts early in the year where they're getting recruited. And then on top of that, everyone starts talking about where they're applying. And maybe where they already have scholarships or something like that. Like, there's just a little bit of built in. And I think that's actually a really helpful thing, some high expectations for who you are, and what you'll do. Do you like that? Because you haven't always been at Cathedral. You made a shift and transfer.
Unknown Speaker 6:26
I think being at Cathedral, it's actually helped me a lot. Because like, last sophomore year, online school, I was like, lacking all motivation, kind of just wasn't my year. Like, I was not able to, like make school my priority. I'm like, stuck in my room all day on just, you know, the screen. And it's definitely affected me but being back into, like being the first school back to be in person and being a cathedral where there's like, they hold themselves. Yeah, like the whole culture of the school is a really high standard. I think it's helped me a lot, because I see all these people around me are like, Oh, they have all these big dreams. And they're like going in achieving all these things. Everyone's smart. I think it's totally like helped me. And I kind of like, okay, well, I'm gonna do my best like fit into this and play my part. And then also like, now, as a senior, I can help the younger underclassmen, and be like, this is how this works. Like, hold yourself to the standard and trust me like you will benefit from it greatly.
Scott Schimmel 7:37
Yeah, I've been telling that to as you know, my son, Kale, he's sophomore and trying to give them the perspective that senior you in the future really wants sophomore you to make choices that give senior you the most options. So you might want to serve. Now you might want to relax. Now, you might even see some friends who were taken attitude. But yeah, try to imagine the future you and what that person wants, which is kind of hard to do. And you're always in the moment. You said at the beginning that I forget how you said it. But as college choice is the first real choice that you're going to make on your own. And built into that, obviously, is is pressure and stress. And I think the definition, as I understand of anxiety is something that's out of your control. And obviously, behind the question of where you're going to go to college is what are you going to do for a living? So I want to kind of zoom out or me and zoom back in your life, what would have been the series of things that you've said over the years, I'm sure you're asked when you're five years old? What is Abe going to be when he grows up? What have the things been that you've talked about and explored?
Unknown Speaker 8:48
I've always had a love for science. So and as a kid, it was kind of just very broad. It's like, I want to be a doctor. But like, I get to middle school, I was like, okay, I'm good grades in middle school, obviously, like, I'm going to carry that over to high school or do my best to. And I'm thinking like, somewhere, like all these doctors, like surgeons and allergists and like, I just recently had surgery, and I got to talk to the anesthesiologist, and that's like, super crazy. And that's totally high paying, but that's a lot of work. And I was like as a kid, I'm like, that sounds so cool to me. Like, I'll make all this money doing something I enjoy. But obviously like that, like now I realized that's like, such a stretch, like so few people have the opportunity to do that. So I'm like, Okay, I'll broaden it somewhere in the science field because that's one strong subject. I really enjoyed science, and kind of all aspects of it to like physics or science like chemical chemistry. So nothing specifically but I think if I do a major in some scientific like field Like, maybe it's just like, general science or biology or something like that. I can definitely see myself like going into that field after college and do like a real job.
Scott Schimmel 10:16
I am actually very impressed with your answer because I think a lot of young people don't connect some of the dots that you're connecting of, of things that you enjoy career. One of the terms I've used for years, I remember meeting this kid a few years ago that I asked him, What do you want to do? What do you think about when you grew up? And he was, I think, a sophomore junior. And he's like, I'm gonna be a basketball player. And it was like one of those times where you just want to start laughing because the kid was maybe five foot four, and not that you couldn't, and maybe he's got this amazing jump shot and like a five foot vertical or something, but chances are that he's not connecting those dots. He's not seeing the reality. And so the term of use is, is to come up with a dream, but it has to be sober. Like, when, when you're not sober. You're just like highs, okay? And you think, oh, it's easy. All it is, that sounds cool. And they they just kind of float in and the last part and just stand there, and then walk away. But as you've said, there's so much more to it. And then to broaden that, to broaden that hurt, like the scope of what that could turn into. It's actually I think, a really, really mature thing. I don't what I hear you saying is I don't know yet. But I've gotten an indication that this is among that something. Let me ask you this, when you think about adults that you've interacted with, who are the people who are the people that you admire, who the people you look up to? And I guess I want to ask you that in a broader way than just what they do for a living because I chances are, you're not even really sure besides the title for what they do every day. But who were some of the adults that come to mind that you're like, I like the way they are as adults
Unknown Speaker 11:56
definitely my own mom. Like, she's just the most caring, like loving supporting person that I know. She's always there for me. She's a teacher like that. That's what she does, really. So she's always been around kids. She, you rarely see her upset, which is kind of like, easy for people to be like, Oh, well, that's not true. Like you just You're saying that because it's her mom. But like I like and she teaches at school I go to so it's like I see her all the time. And she's always smiling like super happy. She didn't she I think she really loves what she does. Which is like super cool to see like, obviously, it's like, not just a shot in the dark, and then you end up horribly, which is kind of cool. Another one I'd say definitely. My grandpa on my dad's side, who was a pastor for 35 plus years. And he is just like the most God loving, super relaxed, can crack any jokey wants to always there like grandpa and he's played a huge role in my childhood because a lot of people don't get to grow up with their grandparents around them. And I've definitely been super grateful to have both my grandparents and grand. Yeah, both my grandparents on each side in my life, and I'm super grateful. But he is totally like, just like, if you look at someone new, like this person is just gonna waltz their way into heaven and be that guy for sure.
Scott Schimmel 13:37
Yeah. I've met him a few times. And you're right. You guys call them Papa Joe. Yeah, any if you're watching listen to this. Any imagination. You might have the stodgy uptight ministry person pastor. He's not it. And extremely relatable, normal. Good, good man all around. When it when you think about the lifestyle you want, I think I was a little bit weird being I was really young. I remember when I was like third grade, telling one of my parents, I can't wait to like get older and have kids and get to coach my kids sports. I can't wait to be a dad. So I know some people are like, that's the last thing on my mind. I'm just curious if you have any imagination about you want to have when you're an adult.
Unknown Speaker 14:27
I definitely. I mean, I will 100%, like I want to start a family. Like kind of like similar to you. Like would love to see my kids play sports and like be a part of that for them. Because I think it's super awesome. And like I had friends growing up who their dad was like the coach and it's like it's like a different side of it that you don't really get experience unless like your your parents are part of that, which I think it'd be super cool to like, be that for my kids. I definitely want to start a family though get married, like have a I don't want to be like off some Nomad who just travels us by himself and like, goes on all these adventures or whatever, but definitely settle down sometime. And yeah, be a family man for sure.
Scott Schimmel 15:26
I remember when we we did two kids, and I think we were contemplating having another kid. And wise advice. I got it from an older guy. You said, Do you imagine being your life being more outside the house outside your family? Or do you imagine your life and what he meant was like, what fires you up and what brings you joy and meaning. And there was a season for me that was it was outside it was like, like you said, to go travel to go see things to go create things. And then after a while, it became No, no, this is this is here, what I want to create and build. And I think there's a series of choices there, like priorities that have these little inflection points. Do you want to do this? Or do you want to do that? And you've probably taken those personality tests or, or career assessments? I want to go back a little bit to the science part, at least as you're starting to picture science, or career, what is it do you like about science? And then on top of that, Have you have you connected? Maybe through classes, have you connected with a problem that science solves that you get kind of fired up about or your irritated about?
Unknown Speaker 16:47
I definitely say my like, What I enjoy about science is the real world application, like math problems, like are all a lot of them that you learned in high school, these are just hypothetical, like, solve for x, and you know, the world will be saved or whatever. But science, I can apply to real world, like chemistry lab, or like rat labs, like you look at the Earth around you. And that's like what you're studying. Like, that's your whole background. So I think that's super interesting, especially with like, all the different aspects, like, you'd be like a marine biologist, or you could just be a regular biologist, or a chemist or a physicist, like, there's all these different options that you can explore. And it's kind of just a very broad spectrum that you can like, hone in on the spot where you're like, Okay, this is like, the, this is where I want to be. And then a real world problem, yes. That's kind of tough. I'm trying to think of last time I applied science to my life.
Scott Schimmel 18:03
It could be even yeah, like in the world, or in the community, or just for dumb example, not dumb example. But it's talking to someone today is talking about wind energy, harnessing wind energy. And as a non science, I'm like, What the heck are you talking about? Why, you know, that sounds cool. And I said, Why do you care about that? And he's like, Oh, the application of that for folks who live in parts of the world that don't have access to things. And so he had this almost like face came alive when he's talking about being a part of that. And so I guess that's just kind of given that as an example.
Unknown Speaker 18:36
I'd say I read the thing about, like solar. And Elon Musk the other day, like he made a statement where like, if he built, like, if he had like, 100 square miles to just put factories, he put like five factories on it, and he could power the whole world with that. Just kind of crazy to me like that, doesn't you think about that? And it's like, well that doesn't make sense. Like he was saying that to like, kind of waffling a little bit. But like that, to be able to, like naturally pull the energy from the sun and then harness that and distribute it. It is really interesting to me. And it's Elon Musk. So
Scott Schimmel 19:15
yeah. Well, that's something I think to pay attention to. Because there's a movie with Owen Wilson named You, Me and Dupree and he's this guy that is the best friend of a guy that's I think an attorney. So his friend is like this, go for it. Super intense career guy. And then Dupree Owen Wilson is just this like vagabond. He travels and serves and just hangs out. And he's like, in his mid 40s. And there's a scene where he comes into a kindergarten class to give a Career Day speech. Owen Wilson does and he's like, some of you you're gonna figure this out early. You're gonna figure out that your teacher Yeah, little NASA scientist. A lot of you just kind of like wait, wait till it zaps you and I think there's some truth to that. I think a lot of people, though, they never find the thing that lights them up or gives them joy or passion. Yeah, they just, they just kind of get on with it and get through life. But I like the idea of looking for a problem that bothers you a problem that you want to solve, because then you can, if you see the problem, and it's just like sciatic, I mean, that's whether that deeply irritates you. Like, that's not right, or deeply excited to you, like, oh, my gosh, imagine if, then it can pull you into which track that would be down. And just imagine the sciences is that engineering is that marine science, like, just be it, but it's based on the long term. That's the problem I want to go after. And then I'll do whatever it takes to get through there. Wrapping up a little bit, as you are on the front end of the college applications process. A year from now we can do the same conversation, and we'll be talking about how was the first week of school or you're gonna go off, you're moving, you're moving on campus in two weeks? What do you want to be able to tell yourself kind of a time capsule? What do you hope that you're proud to say, a year from now about how you've gone through this year in this process?
Unknown Speaker 21:20
I'd say, I'd like to be able to look back and be like, I worked hard for this. I put in the time and effort. Like I said, I should than I would if I wanted to get to this point.
Unknown Speaker 21:40
I'd probably say the best is yet to come. Which because like, it's like the first big step, like I said earlier.
Unknown Speaker 21:48
Yeah. Also have an open mindset about the whole thing, like, you know, it's brand new, or getting thrown in a dorm with a kid you met online or whatever. You texted a couple times. Yeah, I'd like to be able to sit out proud of how I got to this point. And my effort that like allowed me to be there.
Scott Schimmel 22:15
Knowing yourself, what's the warning, or the Watch out, you need to be careful of make sure. So make sure you do that
Unknown Speaker 22:23
you're really good point because I'd definitely say don't think it'll just be handed to you. Because that's like, you can just have all these ideas of like, Oh, I'm gonna do this, somebody that, but you got to put in the work for it. It's not just gonna be like, Oh, we want you to come attend Harvard or whatever. Like, it's not gonna, I mean, I'm not going to Harvard. I know that for sure. But ya know, I just definitely be wary of consternation. And like, realizing that I have, it's all on me. It's not like anyone else is just gonna magically help me with this journey. I mean, I'll have helping hands along the way, for sure. But it really comes down to if I really want to put an effort for myself or not.
Scott Schimmel 23:18
I've, that reminds me, I have a kid that shall go unnamed. But he was a little bit late to get his permit later than he could have gotten. And he could have gotten it already. And he made this comment. I think I said, When are you gonna get your permit? And he said, You haven't helped me figure out how to get it. And I was like, Dude, are you kidding? Like, I figured that out before the internet existed, you can figure it out. And that same transaction that you're talking about, like, it's not your parents, there's not a counselor, no one's going to walk you step by step through that. Like, I saw this clip of LeBron James, in high school playing football. He was, I think, a wide receiver. And he just, he was amazing. And then he quit football, because he had all these adults saying, you know, you don't want to get injured, you're gonna be you're gonna be the next great one. And what you're talking about is like, it's the Lebron James theory of life. Like someone out there is just, they know how awesome I am. And they're just going to hand me something. And I know I get in that some ways too. But for you to say like, like, tell yourself a no, it's not you need to go off and get it. Nobody knows what you dream about. Nobody knows who you want to become. Even your parents don't. We just didn't recommend you for this. But so the last thing I want to want to offer I'm gonna give you a couple of things after this one. We this really simple kind of step by step like when I say step by step, it's like three things. And it's it's so many questions that we've been talking about here. It's called when you get older, it's it's a free thing on our website, it and it helps you think about these broader questions because then the reason we offer it, particularly to those going through college and missions, it's because there's gonna be so many stressful points, deadlines, parents asking you about things, there's financial implications, there's so much threat to making the wrong, you know, the wrong choice. And every single time when that stress comes for anybody, your ability to think clearly it goes down. And all of a sudden, you know, it's, it's an either or choice, as far as you can tell. And the questions that we offer through this, when you get older, of course, can help you actually get out of that stress a little bit, and almost zoom out on your life and think about, okay, this is, yeah, the the deadline is in a couple of weeks, but it's about this larger thing about my life, who I'm becoming and all that stuff. So that's one. The other thing is, and I'm saying this to you for being a guest on this podcast here, in addition to taking to play golf, is we have a step by step course through the college applications process. And it will walk you through literally every step of the way, what you should do week by week, and the big emphasis and we partnered with a woman named April MINUSCA, who's was I think, I'm not sure if she is now she was at Canyon Crest Academy, the top schools in the state. So she knows her stuff about all the applications process. And then the other part of it is all these bigger questions about how do you make the right choice based on who you are. And in addition to that, every single day, an email will be sent to you from a friend of mine that went to USC. And she writes to the lens of a student a little bit older than us saying, don't forget to do this. Remember that? Remember to take a break, remember to ask for help, like all these little tips that you probably have, maybe your friends have that but chances are they haven't been through this process yet. So anyways, that's the college apps Crash Course I'm gonna send to you. But the most important stuff is this when you get older types of questions, what do you value? What do you want to be? What do you look up to? What kind of problems do you want to solve? And then if you can find a way to find a school, that also seems like it's going to be exciting, all those stuff, you stay focused on that. It thanks for being a bit of a guinea pig. And, and one of the reasons I wanted you on here is to almost give an example for parents, and teachers, how do you have these kinds of conversations with a young person, and it's hard for parents, I'm not your dad. But I know that with my kids, because of the anxiety I feel for my kids and your parents, I'm sure feel for you. Every single time I talk to my kids about their future, my anxiety goes up. And typically I stopped thinking clearly, and I get super intense with him about like, who if if you blow it, it's it's your life, but it's also your reflection of your parents. So maybe that's my, my small encouragement to you to remember your parents are going through this too. And they're also anxious. And there might be a few times where you need to leave them, like manage them and say you need a timeout. Let's talk about this tomorrow. With whether it's about finances, or the decisions you're making are deadlines. And back to that point of this is your life, not theirs. And I know I know your parents, they want to be helpful, but it's gonna it's hard. And , I'm saying as a parent to you. Anyways, thanks. And best of luck. Don't blow it, you only get one life. Make sure you don't ruin it.
Unknown Speaker 28:19
Sounds good. Thank you.
Scott Schimmel 28:20
I'll see you soon, buddy. Hey, thanks for joining in on The YouSchool podcast, we'd love to share with you the resources available on our website at theyouschool.com not just articles, ebooks, worksheets and other podcast episodes. But specifically you should know about a free course we have available called The Real Me course. It's digital, it's interactive, and it will guide you to get clear about who you are in a great story you could tell with your life. So go register for a free account and get started on the Real Me Course today at theyouschool.com. That's the you school dot com.