Scott Schimmel 0:21
Hey folks, welcome back to another episode of the uscho podcast. I'm Scott Schimmel. And I'm on this kick right now, mostly because I'm a dad of a couple teenagers, but also because it's such a relevant conversation, and this is the topic. And if you've been following and tracking anything with You School for the past month or so this is, how do we help a kid plan for the future? The fact is, nothing else matters more to me. Or to you, if you're a teacher or parent, then who our kids turn into, and ultimately what they do with their lives. There's no business accomplishment, there's no there's no house to buy. There's no, there's no race to win. that even comes close in comparison to both the satisfaction and fulfillment of watching my kids become and step into their potential. And also at the same time, the anxiety of what if what if they don't make it in terms of making a good smooth transition? What if they make a wrong choice? What if they waste their potential? What if they regrets things? What if we look at them with disappointment? Those are all big, big questions. And they're obviously the the main thing I'm trying to think through and help us think through with these episodes. And all of our content right now is really responding to this question. How do I help a kid make a plan for their future? And if you watched the last couple episodes, we actually had real life teenagers come on the show, and I had conversations with them. And if you haven't watched him, you should go back and watch or listen. One Abe, a senior at Cathedral Catholic High School, the second one was Canyon Scadrett. He's a sophomore, 10th grader, Rancho Bernardo High School, these are two kids I know, friends of ours, friends of my sons, but also I don't normally have those kinds of conversations with them. And it's top of mind for them, who they turn into the choices that they make. And so what we're trying to do those episodes is to help really model for you. What does it look like to have a productive conversation that's non anxious, not intense, and actually really helpful to help a kid discern who they are and where they're going. And we're talking through these nine different mistakes that parents make and adults make when having these kinds of conversations. And Mistake number seven, we're going to zero in on today. It's this, that we would trust school resources alone, to help guide our kids to make the best, most informed decisions about their future plans. Now, I don't know where your kids go to school. But I do know that every single high school, regardless public, private or charter, regardless of the budget, doesn't have enough resources to give your kid the personalized attention that they need and deserve. It's a fact. And most schools and my experience, having become friends with lots of counselors, career counselors would say we don't have even close to enough resources, the close enough time to really help your kid figure out and make thoughtful choices about what they turn into. So what does it look like then? That's not, to me a big concern, because I don't I don't outsource much besides maybe algebra, to school, my kids formation and who they turn into. But the fact is our kids exposure and awareness to what's out there is limited. So there's really two sides of this discussion with your kid or with the kids in your life. One is helping them grow and self awareness about who they are. And the second part is giving them exposure and broader awareness to what's out there. In other words, how do I understand myself and who I am and what makes me tick, and the kind of life I want to live? The type of difference I want to make? And if I can get that, where can I go and do that? Where can I go and apply myself, be myself and put myself to use? What are the options? Your kids have very limited exposure. They're kids, they've seen parents. They've seen some family members probably sort of, they've seen maybe some friends or other relatives, maybe seen some neighbors. They've engaged with probably other professionals, coaches. Maybe some SAT tutors, obviously in education. They've seen their doctors, their pediatrician. They've seen mechanics when you take your car in. And so they've seen stuff. But the exposure of what is that actually like,
I remember a friend of mine years ago wanted to become a therapist was on that path, psychology major and undergrad, went and got an MFT degree. And the first day that she went to work in a private practice, as a therapist, was the day that she realized she had made a mistake. Because she went in there. I think she said she had three or four clients that day, it's a full day's work. She had her little lunchbox and briefcase and sat down. And then she didn't realize that pretty much the entire day, she was going to be in a room alone, except for that 50 minutes with some one other person, and then wait and take notes by herself. And all of your other colleagues were behind their little offices. And she came out of that day thinking What have I done? I didn't know that that's what the job was like. So that's illustrating our kids don't have the awareness, not only of what's out there, if you take marketing, for example, Hey, your kid should go into marketing or let's pick Sales. A lot of parents say that to the kids, you should go into sales, you have good people skills. Well, what kind of sales? What type of marketing? Within marketing, there's probably at least a dozen that I could think of different paths that you can take within that one idea. Sales the same way. What kind of sales inside sales outside sales? So what then okay, that's a that's we're illustrate even greater than this is a problem our kids? How would they know, both on the one side of who they are and what they're wired for it? And where they can do it on the other? We can't trust school. There's no, there's no app for this, per se, but but the answer is you I have the resources and you have the resources, to expose them to the different career options, not all of them, of course, not being close to all of them. But I have friends, I have relatives, I have colleagues, former colleagues that have gone on to do other things. And if I have the imagination, if I see this as a problem, which I do, I want to be intentional to think about who those people are, make a list of them. And then take the time with the intentionality to schedule times to see them. Invite them over to the house, go visit them and bring my kids bring my kids along. You've probably heard that term informational interviews. Well, that's just a fancy way of saying having a conversation, to get to know if this is a good fit. For me. That's, that's the idea that we're recommending here. That's what I'm trying to share. You can be the guide to your kids informational interviews. And it doesn't need to be super formal. It doesn't need to be awkward or complicated. It doesn't need to be regimented. But the intentional exposure for your kids to see what's out there, and what is it like to have that job? What kind of person would do well, there? What are the steps to take to get there? Those kinds of things your kid has no clue about. But you can solve that for them, you can help them be exposed to different career paths and options. And so here's the Steps Make a list of the people that you know, that are easy, low hanging fruit, people that would say, of course, yeah, I'd love to have lunch with you and your kid or of course, I'd love to come over for dinner. Sometime, thank you make a list of those people, three or four, start with three or four and see what happens in the next couple of months. Make a list, make a plan to go and put it on the calendar after school hours, nighttime weekends, and then a really important one. After you engage in a conversation about why did you go into that in the first place? And what is it like there? And what have you found what surprised you ask those kinds of thoughtful curious questions. Even if your kid doesn't interact is just listening. That is totally fine. But the important part would be to do a little debrief when it's appropriate with your kid say what do you think? What stuck out to you? What surprised you? Was there anything that resonated with what they said? What are you thinking about? And that goes back to one of the other mistakes that we shared three weeks ago and a different different episode you could look that up the nine different mistakes parents make. One of them is not bringing up this conversation often enough and trusting that your kids can give you the pace for when they're ready. That's not what we do. We lead them into these conversations. So make a list who do you know, make a plan to visit them with your kid or if you're a teacher, listen to this. Literally have guest speakers come in. I any anybody that I know if they were invited to become a guest speaker for five to 15 minutes inside a classroom with a group of kids would say, Absolutely, yes.
When can I come in even better if you zoom this in, so you can expose, you can take five minutes a week, as a teacher teaching English math, whatever you teach PE, and zoom in a friend of yours from college from high school relative, and just ask the same questions. What are you doing? Why are you doing it? What's it like there? What how does someone get into that? What somebody that might be surprising? How much money do you make? That's another fascinating one. So and then debrief of the kids. That's it. That's a really tangible, specific thing that would pay a lot of dividends for your kid, for any kid, if you were the one to guide them to help them see what the options were. And then we'll use every single one of those opportunities as a mirror, so that they can understand themselves better. It's this is what we do. They use go we help you think through these kinds of conversations, so that your kid has every opportunity to build a meaningful life. See you next week for another episode of the YouSchool podcast. Hey, thanks for joining in on the YouSchool podcast, we'd love to share with you the resources available on our website at the uscho.com not just articles, ebooks, worksheets and other podcast episodes. But specifically you should know about a free course we have available called The Real Me course. It's digital, it's interactive, and it'll guide you to get clear about who you are in the great story you can tell with your life. So go register for free account and get started on The Real Me course today at theyouschool.com That's the you school dot com.