Unknown Speaker 0:20
Hey, welcome to The YouSchool podcast. This is your fearless host, Scott Schimmel. And we are going to have an episode about Thanksgiving. Tis the season right? Well, it's more than just Thanksgiving, we're going to talk about gratitude. Thanksgiving is something that we choose to do. It's a choice that we make. It's a habit that we try to develop. And as we develop Thanksgiving, what emerges inside of us is gratitude. I think about this as a parent, it's one of the things we drill into our kids, look them in the eye and say, Thank you. And if you're like me, as a parent, you've probably been appalled, once or twice or more, when your kids order something at a restaurant, or get a gift from a relative, and they don't say thank you. Oh, man, it feels awful, doesn't it just like such shame comes up on you. We told them to say thank you, we don't know what's wrong with them. And then we go scold them loudly in the corner. So that we can communicate we're people that are ones who're gonna say thank you. I heard a story recently from a teacher at a local high school. And she said that a group of parents came in to make pancakes, to make pancakes for the students one morning, there's about 50 students who are going through the line. And one of the parents came up to the teacher afterwards. And she said, You know, I was a little surprised, I only counted one student, actually look at me and say, Thank you, the rest just took it.
Unknown Speaker 1:47
And this teacher was shocked. The mom was shocked. And I was shocked, wouldn't you be?
Unknown Speaker 1:52
So Thanksgiving is something that we do. It's not just about a day, it's not just about turkey, or football, or overeating. It's a deliberate choice. Gratitude comes from building consistent habits, to pause and reflect, and express Thanksgiving. So this episode is for it's for families. It's for people this week, over the Thanksgiving week, to craft a conversation, a deliberate moment, with your family with your loved ones, maybe this is a parent to their kids, or a
Unknown Speaker 2:27
couple of spouses, or close friends, like a friendsgiving thing, what we're gonna encourage you to do is craft a conversation, design a moment where you intentionally get together and share what you're thankful for. And it's more than just that I've probably been in a table several times. And I'm sure you have to where we say hey, let's just go around the table and share what we're thankful for this year, and you get a little bit of depth. Or you share, I'm just thankful for my health. I'm thankful for you all. It's just pretty light and fluffy. What... I'm not talking about that I want to talk about and suggest to you that you design a moment designing experience conversation, where it's more than that, where you arrange a time, where you take some reflection moments. And not just to think on your own, but also to share with one another. So might be a little awkward. Here's a sentence starter. Here's a sentence start in case you need one
Unknown Speaker 3:25
Hey, I know this might come across as a little corny, or contrived. But it's really important to me. Would you guys humor me a little bit. And let me lead us in a Thanksgiving exercise.
Unknown Speaker 3:38
See how they respond? I mean, most people, yeah, it's gonna be a little awkward, it's gonna be a little bit uncomfortable, especially if you've got teenagers in the house, they'll probably roll their eyes at you, for sure. But it's, it's got to be more than that. It's got to be more than just a moment. If you really want to do this well and cultivate a habit of Thanksgiving that turns into gratitude. And so take some time to think of some productive questions, craft some productive questions. Think of some questions that will lead to good conversations good, that will lead to good reflection.
Unknown Speaker 4:10
Some questions might be Hey, what recent event, or moment are you most thankful for? Because it's helped you grow?
Unknown Speaker 4:18
What? What's a specific moment that you've shared with someone that you really appreciate it? Because it helped you see something different?
Unknown Speaker 4:27
What circumstance in your life recently, has led you to become smarter, or kinder, or more patient, or more thoughtful or more loving or free?
Unknown Speaker 4:38
What have you learned about loving and being lovely?
Unknown Speaker 4:42
So it's more, it's deeper? Right? These questions that I'm suggesting are deeper. They're more thoughtful. They're not just deeper. They're also pretty specific. They're about recent events or moments, specific circumstances, specific people. The more that we tie our Thanksgiving into specific moments,
Unknown Speaker 5:00
specific times, I believe the more real it's going to feel, the deeper it's going to feel, the more impact it's going to have on you.
Unknown Speaker 5:08
Think about some productive questions that would work for you, or your family. And as you're thinking about those productive questions, make sure you do some thinking on your own ahead of time before you graph this conversation. To think about your own answers, how would you respond to these because the depth, the depth, the level of depth that your conversation is going to be, as a family, I think is going to depend on the level of depth that you model and demonstrate to them
Unknown Speaker 5:37
Then you want to craft a moment, a moment that you can connect with one another. So when is it? I think parents typically are pretty bad at moments like this. From what I hear from teenagers, it's right when they wake up, alright, wake, we're gonna wake you up, kid. And we're gonna wake you up two hours earlier than you want to be awake. And then we're going to march it down to the living room. And we're going to do this exercise. No, no, no, let's not do that. Let's think about your family. Think about some natural rhythms, some times where they naturally get together, or times where everyone's awake when everyone's home.
Unknown Speaker 6:10
And if you put on everybody's calendar, you send us as a reminder, and everybody's calendar on their phone.
Unknown Speaker 6:16
And I would encourage you to make sure there's no devices in the room. There's no phones, there's no iPads, there's no laptops, there's no TV on. And if you're going to be really deliberate about it, everyone's comfortable, everyone's looking at each other. Maybe the fireplace is lit, maybe there's some soft music, maybe there's a candle. Maybe there's some more blankets, I don't know, if I'm getting too specific here. But create this moment, so that people can connect. That's what you're trying to do here.
Unknown Speaker 6:45
And as you are engaged in these exercises, maybe you have pads of paper and pens, down around, ready, so that you can give some people a few minutes, think about these questions, maybe even type out these questions for them ahead of time. You're like me, I love putting PowerPoints together, you might even put it up on the screen up on the TV screen.
Unknown Speaker 7:08
But if that gets you down the road of devices, then don't do that. But the most important part is to share these grateful moments, these things that you're thankful for these moments, these circumstances, these people out loud with one another.
Unknown Speaker 7:22
And, and it's your role, to create the safety, to create the trust to really go there, to go there first. And to model this, to encourage people to share to challenge them, of course, but also not push them. So you don't want to have a fight, you don't want to create a fight, you don't want to poke the bear, the angry teenager,
Unknown Speaker 7:41
or as a watch out, I would encourage you to in advance the think are there some relationship conflicts that are currently present.
Unknown Speaker 7:53
You know, the we've been avoiding each other for a few days or a week or a few years, we get irritated with each other, we're just being sharp and quick with one another. It take care of those relationship problems. Go address them, be a reconciler, be the person who goes to apologize, to name and own what you need to own and ask for forgiveness, to understand and validate, care for people who are irritated or hurting.
Unknown Speaker 8:22
If you can do that in advance ahead of time, I think it's going to ensure that this experience goes better.
Unknown Speaker 8:30
And one of the last things you might consider is that you would share specifically around the around the room around the family or towards one another. If it's you and your spouse or partner friend,
Unknown Speaker 8:42
you would take some time to specifically share what you're thankful for about one another. You're like me as a parent. And I know my wife would say this in spades we don't often hear it very much from our kids or from one one another. We don't hear enough what they're specifically thankful for. And it's, I hope much more than Thanks, mom for lunch. Thanks, dad for a roof over my head.
Unknown Speaker 9:08
I think it's I hope it gets deeper than that. Thank you specifically specific moment in the last week that you're thankful for. There's something as we do this, there's something inside of us as we express things.
Unknown Speaker 9:23
You might even feel it in your body might feel it in your in your heart in your chest, you might feel warm, connection, emotion, you might find that you're connecting and feeling more intimate and close and bonded.
Unknown Speaker 9:41
And there's something that happens as we're grateful people. It's something that happens inside of us that helps us feel happier and lighter and freer. It's also assigned those of us who cultivate Thanksgiving that turns into gratitude where gratitude is a part of our nature. It's a part of our character. It's something natural to us.
Unknown Speaker 10:02
It's something that we would look at and say that's what an adult is like adults are. Adults are great. Children have to be taught that. People who have big egos or who are self centered, or who are entitled, narcissistic maybe. They don't practice Thanksgiving. They are not greatful.
Unknown Speaker 10:26
So it's something that we can intentionally choose to do. What did your family look like?
Unknown Speaker 10:32
If your family became naturally automatically, reflexively, grateful, what can your life look like? You became more and more thankful and grateful for the circumstances for the people. But even the stress and the challenges, because the stress and challenges are the ones that shape you and for you and teach you about the world and about love and about patience, and about how to be the most fully you.
Unknown Speaker 11:00
So this week, what are you going to do? Are you going to create, graph the conversation, bring productive questions, create a connecting moment. That's your opportunity.
Unknown Speaker 11:14
Hey, thanks for joining in on They YouSchool podcast, we'd love to share with you the resources available on our website at theyouschool.com not just articles, ebooks, worksheets and other podcast episodes. But specifically you should know about a free course we have available called The Real Me course. It's digital, it's interactive, and it will guide you to get clear about who you are in the great story you could tell with your life. So go register for a free account and get started on The Reak Me course today at theyouschool.com. That's the you school dot com.