Scott Schimmel 0:20
Welcome back to another episode of The YouSchool podcast. I'm your host, Scott Schimmel and welcome to summer. Summer has arrived ish. I'm calling or recording from San Diego, and it's been I don't know, years since we saw the sun. It's been an awful, very awfully long, long grey season. May gray, June gloom, Fog October- like we're in the midst of it. And I think what it's done to our family just in that lack of sunshine, the lack of like the markers into summer are typically sunshine and warmth and pool days, beach days. And we're not having that. So we even spent an entire weekend where it was drizzly and rainy outside the first weekend of summer. And it was awful. It was boring. The big plans were go play with friends at the pool. Nobody was at the pool. Go to the beach, nobody was at the beach. And it just was not a fun, not a real good, like, what we needed. And what I want to talk about in this short episode, are...we're gonna get into boredom, because summer tends to create the space that sometimes I mean, we all want it. Kids especially will say can't wait till summer, can't wait till summer. But start your clock when the summer starts. How long does it take before you hear a kid complain? I'm bored. What are we doing today? What are we doing next? What are we actually talking about is that learning how to embrace boredom, learning how to experience it, deal with it, make good choices in it is actually a critical life skill that I think every kid needs. No kid wants to hear about this. I remember growing up whenever I'd say that, especially if my grandma was around. "I'm bored". She would just look at like kind of snap at me and like "Well boring people get bored, so don't be boring." In other words- it's your choice. The science of boredom is fascinating to me. I've done some research. It's a it's an uncomfortable feeling. Similar to hunger, thirst, tiredness, similar to loneliness. Boredom is an indication from your system, that in this, there's actually agitation, but while being sedentary. Now you hear echoes to me, I hear echoes of we are made, we are made, of course for rest. Because we get tired, we are made for connection. We're also made to be productive, we're made to be productive people. And sometimes, even when we're feeling bored, we can actually teach our kids to recognize, we don't need to go out and produce things for the sake of producing things. We don't need to override the other cues and signals of our system which are saying get rest. Connect. It's not about doing more. But when we feel bored, it's an indication that there's something else, maybe even an invitation to do something different to reflect and make a different choice. Our middle child, our kid who's going into ninth grade, first weekend of summer, she was just reflecting out loud. That there.. She was like I'm just so bored this weekend. And she said there's there's about a two maybe three hour window for her were intentional, sitting on the couch laying in bed watching the show, reading were that like, there's like a two three hour like diminishing returns, there's an expiration time, expiration date on that intentional being sedentary, where it starts, it flips a switch. And even though she wants to do something, she now feels stuck. And it's not good. It's not productive. And I'm sure you've experienced that. But what we want to do for our kids is help them learn to be more self aware. And ultimately to learn not to run to the little dopamine machines in their pockets- their phones- that instinct quick fix to relieve the agitation of boredom by getting a dopamine hit, by scrolling, by liking by posting. That is a false sense of what they're actually looking for. What they want is to be creative, to be productive, to be relevant, to connect, to be outdoors, their bodies long to be in the sunshine to be in nature, like this sense of boredom. Again, the balance of rests to boredom is a fascinating balance. So what are we modeling for them? One I think to teach them that boredom is not bad. Boredom is actually good. Boredom is the space where our brains can kick into a different gear. And we can start to connect dots and potentially be creative. The experts will say that boredom is the prereq course to creativity. It's the prerequisite, we need to allow ourselves to get bored in order to find a creative solution to a creative choice. And fundamentally, we want to teach our kids that you have the opportunity to make a choice to change your situation. You have agency, you have self control, you can do something to change things. Even if you don't have a choice today. What are you going to do about it tomorrow? Are you gonna reach out to a friend? Are you going to create something? Are you going to do a project around the house? Are you going to go make a lemonade stand? babysits flyers somewhere? Ah go work on something, go exercise. What are you going to do to resolve the agitated state of boredom? I doubt your kids want to hear this message. I doubt they want you to give them lectures. But these are the times, these are the days, the dog days of summer, to teach them about boredom, to help them recognize who they are and what they need, and to make choices. Model it for them. Talk to them about it. It's a good thing. Boredom is good. We'll be back next week with another episode of The YouSchool podcast. Hey, thanks for joining in on The YouSchool podcast. We'd love to share with you the resources available on our website at theyouschool.com not just articles, ebooks, worksheets and other podcast episodes. But specifically you should know about a free course we have available called The Real Me course. It's digital, it's interactive, and it'll guide you to get clear about who you are and the great story you could tell with your life. So go register for free account and get started on The Real Me course today at theyouschool.com. That's the you school dot com.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai