Scott Schimmel 0:20
Hey, welcome back to another episode of the YouSchool podcast. I'm Scott Schimmel. Hope you're doing well. It's summer, it's officially summer, I guess in two days, it's real real season of summer. And whatever you do this summer, we're going to talk about this big picture- what I'm hoping for, for myself and for you, is to be really intentional, intentional about the time that we have. And I think sometimes in summer, we, for me, I switch off from intentionality, I just get through it, I just look for ways to rest, read books, of course, still go to work and still manage kids and household, but kind of check out. And I think the invitation is to not check out, but to use this time really thoughtfully, because at the end of the day, at the end of parenting, what I want and hope is that my kids got what they needed from me. From us. I was reading The Wall Street Journal article, and you're probably thinking yourself, well, he's the kind of guy that reads the Wall Street Journal, it's very impressive, which is not my intent. But I'm sure it's what you're thinking. And there's an article in here about this. This phenomenon that's happened in the workplace right now, college seniors who are graduating entering the workplace, were freshmen or entering into college when they went through the shutdown of COVID. And what they missed was socialization in many, many ways. Particularly professional preparation to be social in the workplace. This article is called "Training New Hires to be Grownups", and it talks about how a lot of companies are having to teach kids things like etiquette, how to participate in a meeting how to give a presentation, because they missed it. They were, they were doing zoom classes, they didn't really have to turn in things on time. So what we're going to be looking at this summer, are these critical life skills that every single kid needs to do well in life. And what we're trying to do in many ways is map backwards to where you're at whether your kid is eight or 18. And understand that there are, there are kinds of stations for the train to stop at, and get off, and go experience and learn things and get back on the train of life. What we're gonna be talking about today is the art of conversation. It's a critical life skill. I was I'm always around kids. And it's very, very rare to be able to have a thoughtful conversation with somebody who is under 30...25, and in a way in which they're asking you questions, they're thoughtful, they have answers beyond just one word, where the burden of the conversation is not entirely on you. There's one young lady, she's the daughter of one of the cofounders of YouSchool, named Elizabeth, and she is exceptional at the art of conversation, for being someone who's still in her teenage years. Super impressive. So let's talk about social skills. A couple of things. My parents did a lot. Well, one of the things that they did well, and I'll give credit to both, is teaching me social skills. On one side, I have my mom who's incredibly social, and I can, countless memories of growing up listening to her talk to people on the phone, listen to her and watch her interact with people in stores or restaurants. Sometimes, as a teenager, maybe you want to cringe and say please stop talking mom, you don't need to make a friend with every single cashier. But the benefit of that, for me was learning how to have small talk, learning how to have engaging, how to be engaging, how to be present. And everyone has always said my mom is incredibly engaging, fun to be around, funny, and brings life wherever she goes. I got to learn that and watch that from her. My dad on the flip side, did something that was phenomenal, super, extremely beneficial to me. While I was a teenager, he would invite me and take me to whether sporting events or playing golf with clients of his in a professional setting. He brought me a kid along often many, many, many times around these clients, potential clients, co workers, colleagues that he had, and I got to watch and soak up how do you have professional conversations in informal settings. Those two gifts right there were invaluable to me. And it's something that we can do for our kids if we are intentional about it with them. So three things to consider. If you agree with me that your kids need to learn how to have conversation. You think about all the things that they learned in school- calculus, physics, how to write an essay- when it comes to them being successful in life. relationally professionally, is there anything that's more important than being able to have engaging thoughtful conversations. Send it to me, if you can think of something, let me know. Three things. Number one model like I was sharing with my parents. I got to watch my dad have interactions, professional settings. So when I got there in my 20s, I actually knew what to do. Watching my mom listening to her, how do you have a conversation? And sometimes I even heard her have debates, arguments, and never inappropriate. Just I got to hear how to do conflict resolution. I got to hear that. So are you allowing your kids intentionally to hear you do that? Can they listen in on zoom calls. I think I'm sometimes wanting to be a present dad, that so much so that I would never take a phone call around them for work. While hindsight as I was in the car with my dad, I often when I was a kid, often got to hear him talk to people on the phone using his professional voice, saying professional sounding things, asking questions. And I'm realizing that I want to do more of that for my kids. I want them to hear me and watch me having conversations and they want to. Second to challenge challenge your kids, when you're in social settings, to speak up, give them an opportunity to talk even if they are eight years old. As people ask them questions. Even if it's relatives- how's school? what grade are you in? To not, it's so tempting to want to rescue them, isn't it? Because they get awkward. They get kind of stressed out, they get anxious, nervous, they don't know what to say, maybe they don't understand the question. But it's so helpful to actually allow them to be challenged, to not rescue them, to not step in and speak for them. So that's number two. The third one would be to debrief after you're in a social setting, whether it's a very informal or more, maybe a little bit more uptight. While you're in the car coming back from a dinner with another family, to actually ask them, What did you think about that? What did you notice about that? How did you feel when they were asking you questions? What did you notice about the way like the kinds of subjects we talked about? To debrief with them to help them learn, which is really how learning works is to debrief with them, invite them to reflect about what they're learning what they're seeing, and how they might participate more fully in the conversation next time. So critical life skill this summer. You can do this. We can do this for our kids. We can give them an asset, a skill, a strength that they can have for the rest of their lives. That again, of course is good for them professionally, but for them to learn how to have thoughtful, engaging conversations with friends, peers, family members, again, critical life skill, they're not going to get it from school, they're not going to get from watching Netflix or scrolling through Instagram. How much more so in today's day and age do they need to learn how to have a good conversation. That's it for this week's episode. We'll be back next week, maybe with another critical life skill for your kids. See you soon. Hey, thanks for joining in on the YouSchool podcast. We'd love to share with you the resources available on our website at theyouschool.com not just articles, ebooks, worksheets and other podcasts episodes, but specifically you should know about a free course we have available called The Real Me course. It's digital, it's interactive, and it'll guide you to get clear about who you are in a great story you could tell with your life. So go register for a free account and get started on The Real Me course today at theyouschool.com That's the you school dot com.
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