Scott Schimmel (00:02.158)
There's absolutely no question that every single parent wants their kid to thrive. But would you rather have your kid thrive, reach their potential, or be self -sufficient and pay their own bills? That's what we're going to talk about in this conversation. I've been helping young people, young adults graduate into adulthood for the past 20 years, working with thousands of them, high school and college kids, and understand now as a parent of three kids,
how challenging it is to balance all these important values, ambitions and aspirations we have for our kids' lives. As a parent, one of the primary functions is to push our kids to do things that are challenging for them. We make them stand up and walk. We feed them things that they don't prefer to eat. We send them into preschool, even if they're kicking and screaming. We drop them off at piano lessons, even if they don't wanna play piano.
We make them do their math homework even if it's not what they wanna do. They'd rather be on a device or outside playing with their friends. It's a key part of being a parent. And yet, what I find myself doing as my kids start to transition to adulthood is to pull back a little bit on that challenge. If they can take a path of less resistance that will guarantee more likely that they will be self -sufficient, pay their own bills.
and lead a life that is not very risky or tumultuous, I would gladly take it. That's my temptation. One of my kids recently asked, Dad, do you think I'd be good in finance? And I wanted to say, yeah, do it, please pick something that's stable, secure, because the alternative is to go down a path that might require my investment more, many more years than I feel like doing. And not only that,
But I think fundamentally, I do not want my kids to experience or face rejection or disappointment or hurt or pain. The costs of life post high school and college get more serious as time goes on. I don't want my kids to face deep rejection. I don't want them to suffer big loss. But here's the deal. It's my invitation and yours as a parent, because I believe in my
Scott Schimmel (02:20.706)
potential of my kids to balance all these different values and hopes and dreams we have for them in addition to the ones that they have and to remember and reflect that when we get into these specific conversations about what they're going to do next and what their plans are to try to hold all those things. Yes, I want them to be self -sufficient. Yes, I want them to get off the payroll, but I also want them.
to lean into who they're becoming. I want them to make a difference in this world. And in fact, if I had to choose, I would rather have the kid who struggles financially and yet is growing and leaning forward and trying to make a mark on this planet and is deeply fulfilled along the way. Then the kid who says, yeah, bills are paid, house is paid off and I'm deeply lonely or I suffer every single time I have to wake up and go to work.
because it just feels meaningless to me. I would rather take the kid who's risking it all than the kid who's got everything wound up tight. What about you? And what does it look like for us to encourage our kids to not take the easy path out of our own fears, our own anxiety, but to encourage them that we're gonna be with them along the way. We're gonna hug them. We're gonna nurture them. We're gonna care for them. We're gonna debrief and give them feedback, all the supportive work, but we're also here to say, go for it.
You can do it. You'll figure it out as you go. And if it doesn't work, come on home. We'll clean up your wounds. We'll give you a couple days and then you're going to get back out there. That's the point.
