Scott Schimmel (00:02.318)
There's something that I guarantee you, you say in front of your kid, your young adult, your teenager, that you have to stop doing. You have to stop saying it. It's discouraging, it's demotivating, it's not helpful, and it's not true. I'm Scott Schimel. I'm the chief guide of the U School. For the last 20 years, I've been helping young adults transition to a confident adulthood. So I did it a few days ago. I was in a conversation with other parents of teenagers.
We were all going around kind of taking turns. What's your kid thinking about? What's your kid thinking about? Everybody talked about the different choices their kids are making, the different colleges they're thinking about, different career paths. I took my turn and then one of them, and this happens in every single conversation I think I've ever had, it happened on Facebook, it happens in text messaging, it happens all over the place. One of the parents said, it's ridiculous anyways. It's ridiculous.
that we, society, would think that a young person their age could have anything figured out. And then the other person in this conversation says, yeah, totally. And I said it too. I was like, yeah, huh, huh, wild, ridiculous, crazy. I've been saying that. It just comes out of my mouth and I bet it comes out of yours too. But here's the deal.
Number one, it's too expensive. It's too expensive to have that as your theory, your backup plan. If your kid doesn't know who they are, if they haven't declared it, they haven't set their sights on a college, they haven't figured out their career path. And some have, or at least say that they have, like I did when I was 17, 18 years old. It used to be the case where if you don't know who you are, if you don't know what you're about, if you don't know what you wanna do for...
work someday and how to make money. Don't worry about it. Just get accepted and go to a good school because that school is gonna help you get there. And something we're not quite sure, but it's something about the age, the environment.
Scott Schimmel (02:13.226)
You're going to figure it out. And maybe that's true. Maybe that was true in previous generations. But now for the cost of tuition room and board that we're looking at currently for our junior son, he's not a junior, he has no name, but he's a junior 11th grade son. It's too expensive to do that. That's an absurd idea, quite frankly, that we would just kind of kick the can down the road and he would go to this school.
and somehow, someway bump into, I don't know, guys bump into a professor who has a secret magic plan, stumble upon like a laboratory where all of a sudden they are like Peter Parker and realize they have superpowers in that particular area. And quite frankly, if we just go with the old plan, the old idea, they'll figure it out someday, somewhere, they'll figure it out in college. And they choose to figure it out.
or decide to figure out or just happen to figure it out, maybe a semester after they've really selected their major. And we're going to let's say we add for that child summer school or an extra semester or an extra year to get their diploma. Now we're talking about some serious pennies. So this whole idea that we give as parents, they're too young. How could they? How could they quite? I mean, it's just unfair. It's it's inconceivable that they because.
And then number two, we say that because that's what's been true for us in our experience. If I took a poll and I'd love to hear it, put it in the comments, email me back. What age were you when you found your thing? And my hunch is if you were a teacher, you found it young. You were five years old and you were already pretending to play a teacher at school with all your friends and siblings. And then you just did it. You went and did it. Or maybe if you're like a doctor or a pilot or a major league baseball player.
you knew when you were young, but my hunch is you're going to respond and please tell me that I'm wrong. That A, it took you a long time or B, you still haven't quite found it. There's a Facebook group I'm a part of. I've been a member of for a long time and it's a Facebook group. I'm guessing it's mostly moms because that's the ones I see who respond. And there are comments about this particular issue. My kid doesn't know what they want to do. They don't know what you want to study. How do you figure that out? They don't know what their jobs.
Scott Schimmel (04:39.784)
are supposed to be. And I always see that. I mean, how could they? They're just so young. You just get out, give them time. And then there were always a comment or many or multiple or multiple likes to this comment where someone says, Hey, I'm 52. I haven't found it either. So let me just kind of break that down for a sec. Because you haven't found your thing well into adulthood or you got stuck and feel like you're stuck in a particular path. You now give the same advice, really pass on the same advice.
to the next generation, to your kids, hey, look, you know, you're so young, there's no way you're gonna know what's out there. You can't figure yourself out. Now, you gotta go get into a good school, you gotta go get a job. And then you'll, and if that kid was smart, wise enough, which some kids are, they will mirror that back to you and say, well, okay, what age were you? And if you're honest with them and you say, hey, actually, I'm pretty miserable in my job, or not miserable, but I'm far from my potential.
I'm far from the notion that I'm waking up every day excited to go to work because I'm solving problems, making a difference, impacting people's lives. I'm compensated for it. I'm competent in this area and I keep getting, I mean, all these kind of markers for wellbeing and a happy, successful career. Most of the people I've talked to would readily admit they haven't done that yet. So let's not, let's not put that advice or that story, that idea into the next generation. So number one,
It's too expensive to do it. Number two, just because you got that advice, that's how it sort of worked for you, doesn't mean it's gonna sort of work for them. And number three, we can go on and on and on. Number three, is your kids deserve better than that. Here's what happens, I think, when they hear you say that in a conversation when they're around. How could they, or you give that advice straight to them. I think what they start feeling is hopeless.
I think they get hopeless, they feel hopeless. The very person that they look to, you, for advice, for guidance, for insight, someone who's been there and done that says, hey, I don't know, honestly, some people just get zapped, others don't, it might take a while, we're not quite sure. If that's the message they hear from you, there's no reason that tomorrow is gonna feel better, or that the next step that they put in front of this foot is gonna improve anything or.
Scott Schimmel (07:02.407)
break open a door of insight for them. They start feeling hopeless and hopelessness yields a whole variety of bad things for a young person, for anybody. Your kids deserve better than that. That's what I'm this is what I do. I believe every kid deserves the opportunity to understand themselves, construct a life and design a life that they're wired for. And there are steps to take. Yeah, take an assessment, take a quiz, sign them up for a test to take that will tell them what
career fields to pursue. But there are certain building blocks, steps on the roadmap, on the journey to make infinitely better decisions. First, a kid has to discover who they are and what matters to them. They have to discover their identity, what their values are, what their beliefs are, what their perspective is about this world. They have to do some soul searching, understand themselves, and all of that is accessible, possible. It doesn't cost you anything when you pay us. It's free. It's right in front of them.
You just need to know what the steps are. So that's my rant. I hope that doesn't feel like a rant, but I'm going to start. That's my commitment. I'm going to stop saying, I don't know, maybe someday they'll figure it out. And I'm going to start figuring out what the steps are. I'm going to model it for them. And I'm going to walk them through step by step. Your kids need to hear a whisper in their ear. There is a roadmap. There is a plan. There is a way for you to figure out who you are.
and what choices to make that will set you on the right path to a thriving life, successful and happy. And I know how to do it and I'm going to walk you through it. That's what they need to hear from you. If you want to learn more about those steps, please like this video, subscribe, sign up for our newsletter, which we send out thoughtful, engaging articles, concepts like these conversations you can have with your kid. It's on our website.
It's really easy to find, theusicle .com. Be back soon, another conversation and I'll be less agitated and irritated next time.
