What Value Does Your Kid Bring to the World?

Helping Your Kid Discover That They Matter—Right Now

Let’s start with a truth every parent needs to hear:
Your kid doesn’t need constant praise.
They need to know they add value—not someday, not when they’re older—right now.

That’s the power behind this week’s critical question:

“What value do you bring to the world?”

It’s not about ego. It’s about identity.
Because when a kid can begin to answer this question—even in small ways—they show up with more confidence, more clarity, and more purpose.

A Real Moment of Contribution

Not long ago, I was attempting to build shelves in our master closet. DIY is not my strong suit, but I was determined to figure it out. Two hours in, I was stuck, frustrated, and ready to give up.

My 14-year-old son, who had been helping mostly because I promised him a surf session afterward, looked at the panel I was struggling with and said, “Dad, just turn it around—it’ll fit.” And he was right.

That one comment saved the entire project—and reminded me of something bigger: He’s genuinely good at this.

He’s been fixing things since he was little—bikes, toys, tools. Now, he volunteers at a local bike shop and earns credit toward parts. That night, I texted him:

“Dude—you're actually really good at this. Like, adult-level good.”

That was a moment where he felt it:
I bring something valuable. I have something to offer.
That’s what we want for every kid.

Why This Question Matters

According to the Science of Mattering, kids thrive when they feel two things:

1. That they’re valued by others

2. That they can add value back

When both are present, kids develop resilience, motivation, and self-worth. But when they’re missing? That’s when disconnection, anxiety, and even depression start to creep in.

And here’s the thing—most kids don’t feel like they add value. They’re either waiting for permission, performing for applause, or shrinking into invisibility.

But when a kid can say,

“I helped. I contributed. I made something better,”
they’re no longer just building self-esteem—they’re building identity.

What’s at Stake If They Don’t Know

If a kid doesn’t understand their value, they fill in the blanks with fear:

• I’m not good enough.

• I don’t matter.

• Why try?

They either overcompensate—trying to be perfect for everyone—or they disengage entirely.
They become performers or passengers, but not owners of their own lives.

But when a kid knows where they shine, when they experience themselves making a difference, everything starts to shift.

How to Help Your Kid Discover Their Value

So how do we help kids answer this big, identity-shaping question?

1. Be the mirror.

Catch them in the act of contributing and name it out loud.

“You really helped your friend feel heard.”
“You’re amazing at explaining things clearly.”
“You made our family laugh tonight when we needed it.”

2. Create chances for adult-level success.

Let them help with a repair. Let them plan something. Let them volunteer.
It doesn’t have to be big—it just needs to be real.

3. Ask questions that reveal impact.

“Where did you make a difference this week?”
“What do your friends count on you for?”

4. Celebrate contribution, not just results.

Shift the praise from grades or goals to who they are and what they bring.

Bottom Line

Your kid doesn’t need to be the smartest, fastest, or most talented.
But they do need to know:

“I bring something valuable to the world. I matter.”

So this week, try asking them:
“What value do you bring to the world?”

Then help them see it.
Because when a kid believes they matter, they start living like it.