Helping Your Kid Figure Out What Their Future Plans Are

What Are You Going to Do Next?

Why This Simple Question Can Help Your Kid Move from Stuck to Purposeful

When I was a kid, my report cards all said the same thing:
“Scott’s a good student, but he’s easily distracted. Spends too much time daydreaming.”

They were right. I spent hours in class imagining myself as the hero of a baseball game or leading a secret mission. My head was rarely where my body was. But what no one told me then was that those daydreams—those visions—were actually signs of something powerful: a growing sense of imagination, possibility, and vision.

What I didn’t have was someone to help me take those thoughts and translate them into action.

That’s why this critical question matters so much:

“What are you going to do next?”

It sounds simple, even obvious. But it may be the most important step between knowing who you are and living like it.

When Kids Stay Stuck in “Thinking Mode”

Teens today spend a lot of time reflecting—sometimes because they’re told to “find their passion” or “figure themselves out.” But without a clear invitation to act, they can get trapped in overthinking, waiting, or fear of getting it wrong.

And when they feel stuck, kids start to doubt themselves. They lose momentum. They wait for permission instead of building confidence through experience.

That’s where this question comes in. It moves a kid from passive to active, from thinking about who they want to be to actually taking a step.

But Here’s the Problem: Sometimes We Get in the Way

As parents, we want to be helpful. We want our kids to succeed. But without meaning to, we often subvert their growth by:

• Over-functioning: Jumping in too quickly to suggest, plan, or solve

• Over-pressuring: Pushing for progress on our timeline, not theirs

• Overreacting: Treating mistakes like catastrophes, which teaches them to play it safe

And all of it is usually rooted in our own anxiety. We want to feel like things are moving forward. But our urgency sends a message: You’re not moving fast enough. You’re not doing it right.

The result? Our kids become performers instead of discerners. They make moves to keep us calm rather than build a life that fits them.

If we’re not careful, our pressure to “help” can actually block the very growth we want to see.

Small Steps = Big Growth

Purpose doesn’t usually arrive in one big lightning-bolt moment. It’s revealed in the process of taking small, intentional steps.

That’s why “What are you going to do next?” is so powerful. It doesn’t require your kid to have a full plan—just a direction. A move. A decision that says, I’m not just thinking anymore. I’m building something real.

Four Ways to Support Without Taking Over

Here’s how you can be intentional with this question—without letting your pressure get in the way:

1. Ask with curiosity, not control

Try:

“What’s one small thing you could try next?”
“What would a next step look like—even if it’s tiny?”

2. Shrink the pressure

Instead of “figure out your path,” try:

“Could you talk to someone who does that?”
“Want to visit or volunteer and just see what it’s like?”

3. Praise the action, not the outcome

“I’m proud of you for taking that step. That’s how growth happens.”

4. Watch your own urgency

Before pushing, ask yourself:

“Whose timeline am I reacting to—mine or theirs?”

Bottom Line

Your kid doesn’t need a ten-year plan. They don’t need to get it perfect.
They just need someone to ask the right question, hold the space, and believe they’re capable of taking the next step.

So this week, try it:

“What are you going to do next?”
Then pause. Don’t jump in. Let them lead.

That’s how clarity turns into confidence—and daydreams become direction.